I can't say when kink first became of personal interest to me. I am not one of those who always knew or who had moments of awakening when they were too interested in the scenes of the male lead getting all tied up. I spent a good amount of time online in my teenage years, 2015, 2016, doing what many did and delving deep into the caves of deviantArt to find the strangest fetish content and share it to laugh in the group chat. This is where much of my knowledge of the extent of fetishes, especially those that get catered to online and through art, comes from.

However before this, in my middle school years as an earlier teenager, I ran into kink when I was desperate and looking for queer smut to read. My main resource for this was the read manga app I had on my Kindle, since I was banned from most of the Internet on and off, and did not have a personal laptop. I made do with my old Kindle Fire and DSi. I ate up the yuri and yaoi categories, but I kept feeling like they were too childish in their characters and stories. I pushed the ecchi tag quite a bit as well, surmising that ecchi must mean something like "erotica." I eventually discovered shoujo ai and shounen ai, and I was entranced. I spent much of my time reading shounen ai, as many of the shoujo ai stories never seemed to quite capture my taste. I read a great many stories there, and ran across a myriad of kinks, usually light or unspoken.

And then I found Nana to Kaoru. I had some idea of BDSM before finding it, but I don't know where that came from. But Nana to Kaoru fed me and fueled me, and showed me exactly what I wanted, needed, dreamed of, and told me it was possible through BDSM. Nana to Kaoru's focus on their emotional relationship and its development through their play, scenes, and dynamic, sung to my heart and I was sold.

As for my kinks themselves, overall I consider myself to be pretty open! If my partner wants to try something, then I'll consider it and most likely be up to give it a test run and see what we think. I have my own favorites, though a lot of that is influenced in particular by my sexual journey alongside my partner, and so is tied to the things we've experimented with together and the enjoyment we've had there. I can't say if these are "my kinks" or if I find them hot because of their ties to my partner, but either way, here we are!

I favor petplay, heavy D/s dynamics including some M/s, service submission, and just general intimacy. As a Dom I enjoy teasing and humiliating my sub as well as degrading them at times. As a sub I enjoy some light teasing and humiliation with sometimes some harsher degradation, but it can be a soft limit at times. I enjoy topping and I have a good time bottoming but I don't have much practice and I don't play with penetration much on myself, especially with how I sometimes feel rather stone. So overall I prefer to top, especially as using the strap makes me feel very euphoric in my gender and my body. I get great joy out of playing with petplay associated things like collars, leashes, and service. As a sub I especially enjoy servicing my master, whether it's as a maid, a puppy, a bootblack, or possibly even furniture. I don't have an ounce of brattiness in me, I am always eager to please and eager to serve and I want to be mindless and do things right and get praised for it and then not have to worry about the attention on me. I enjoy very much any sort of gender play like crossdressing, femboys, and forcefemming, particularly since I and my partner are both nonbinary and it can be a great place to play with gender and our bodies. I also enjoy being a mommy dom, gentle femdom, and playing with cow petplay that can cross the line into hucow and ffa at times, but always with a positive and body-loving angle and no humiliation dirty talk, ever. In general, my petplay is either me as the puppy sub or my partner as the kitten (or sometimes cow) sub. I enjoy collars and such, but the neoprene masks and other accessories don't interest me much at all.

I also enjoy waxplay, whips and flogs (with my particular favorite to bottom for being any nice thudding flogger), ropes, teasing toys like feathers or a pinwheel, and I'm interested in e-stim toys. Needles I think I could try, maybe, but overall would be a big no from me. I also enjoy restraints, blindfolds and cuffs or more extreme things as well, and roughness like biting and scratching and choking and manhandling. Some of the full body immobility stuff is not for me (like say, vacuum sealing) but sometimes it can be really hot (like rope suspension). In general, latex and rubber don't really spark much in me. Leather is not my main squeeze, but it definitely coincides with many things I enjoy, like leather gloves and bootblacking. Things like diapers or age play is a no-go, that is only for non-sexual spaces for me. I get some fun out of playing up age differences or the concept of incestual relations (in mommy dom play) but never in a fully explicit and realized way, more as just an extra buttering of taboo to rev up the engines.